Picture this: You are approached by a stranger in a situation where you never wanted to be approached by a stranger (exiting the gas station bathroom, purchasing bunion cream, waiting in line for Nickelback tickets…) and they ask every stranger’s favorite question, “What does your tattoo mean?”
Instead of humoring them with a ten minute monologue explaining the metaphorical significance of your body art, you pull up this blog post. You tell them it means nothing, “I rolled a die and picked it from this list.”
Below you’ll find the perfect prompts for a perfectly meaningless tattoo. Never again will you have to prepare an awkward response to strangers who feel entitled to your life story. (Seriously, why do people do that?)
What’s the color scheme?
Let’s work backwards here. Roll a die and pick a color scheme from this highly inspired list of original color palettes.
- Fast Food Logo: yellow and red
- Pride Parade: rainbow (ROY G BIV for life)
- The Classic: black and grey
- QT: pink, purple, baby blue
- Dirty Ocean: almost blue, mostly green/brown
- Add Cheese: cheeseburger palette (brown, yellow, red, pickle green)
What’s the focal point?
This nonsense tattoo has to be bold and memorable. Roll a die to choose the center of attention.
What’s the verb?
Bring on the action! What is the above character doing? Roll a die and get verb-ing.
What iconic quote will you choose?
Pseudo-meaning is better than no meaning at all. Roll a die to pick the perfect script font quote.
- “Eat glass” – David from Schitt’s Creek
- “These go to eleven.”– Spinal Tap
- “Macaroni in a pot.” – WAP by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion
- “Crocodilians.” – Tiger King
- “404 Page Not Found” – every link online you actually want to load
- “Life’s a garden, dig it.” – Joe Dirt
What are you waiting for?
Now that you’ve planned your Black and Grey Onion Chopping Birthday Clown with the quote “Macaroni in a pot” or the iconic Blue/Brown/Greenish Juggling Octagon screaming “Crocodilians,” reach out to an artist to book your meaningless tattoo.
There are plenty of incredible stories and touching tributes in permanent ink. But there’s also cartoon characters, cool shapes, funky colors, and jokes. Both are worth getting! Neither are an invitation for people to invade your space or request an oral autobiography.